The Perks of Being a Wallflower (Book) Review

Wallflower – A person who is socially awkward especially one who does not dance at a party due to shyness.

-Urban Dictionary

           

            The Perks of Being a Wallflower is the journey of an American teenage boy Charlie’s incidences over an academic year at his new high-school his dealings with his friends, girlfriends and family.

It is primarily about high-school relationships and the author has captured all the elements attached to it – alcohol, making-out, drugs and prom culture in the story. The books is in the form of letters that the protagonist writes to a stranger revealed (or not?) at the end of the book.

The story revolves around Charlie’s lovely family – Dad, Mom, a sister repeatedly changing her boyfriends and a brother who is in the navy and plays football for the country’s team. He meets the brother sister duo – Patrick and Sam and they become his close friends although both are senior to him. A girl Mary Elizabeth interested in Charlie and his first girlfriend.

Charlie the wallflower has an excessive habit of thinking a lot in his own mind and how that somehow makes him an awkward nerd in front of the rest of the people but he is not aware of it and that comes to him from others bit by bit. At the same time he is unable to read the clues when one signals him to leave them by saying – ‘Let’s do it later.’ On the other hand he would be the winner of “Best Friend” award as he would not let anyone down no matter what. He is the nicest guy on the planet.

The book has captured almost all the things a wallflower goes through like…

·         Thinking a lot about anything and everything all the time.

·         Finding it tough to deal with big social groups – often being made fun of and the point of laughter.

·         Charlie tries to please everyone – he’s good at academics and gets straight As in every test. His professor Bill keeps on giving him more and more assignments and books to read which he accepts willfully and once he crosses the line by being physically being intimate with a guy friend because he was feeling lonely. In short he never says – “NO”.

Verdict…

Unlike a Sherlock Murder mystery every line of this book is important as every minute happening holds a huge importance in the subsequent instances that unfold. Every character is unique and the story filled with details explodes at the end leaving one spellbound. Personally this has been one of the most engaging books that I have ever read as a certain mystery of what will happen next keeps you engrossed. One can say that it is a great young-adult book but I won’t disagree if someone were to call it a teenage boy’s trashy diary entries.

The book is a must read for anyone who feels is an introvert like for one who finds it difficult to deal in social situations, if one would rather be reading a book/ watch a movie than going for that friend’s birthday party – go and grab TPOBAW. But more importantly for an extrovert this book is a great guide to understanding the brain functioning of their opposites.

A few more points that troubled me …

·      I purchased the book with the cover of the movie which seems like there is a love triangle and one person gets sad while the other two move on living happily ever after, it certainly is not that way (I haven’t watched the movie though).

·      Most of the situations in the school is where the ones who would come to the prom are good which something tough to digest as for the bullies Charlie is an easy target and I don’t recall an incident where something bad has occurred to him (also the whole book is an exhaustive diary of a teenager) and not to mention this is all happening in America.

·      Charlie has had feelings for Sam ever since he saw her and has a sex dream and with almost zero hesitation he tells about the dream to her. No wallflower would do that. Period. Sam on the other hand she consoles Charlie and does not slap him (kinda feels like all the mature high-school kids are in the book).

·      At first it first feels like Charlie is the loneliest guy on the planet which paints a different picture altogether and the story did not stand true to what it has been advertised as.

·      A point I would personally not agree to would be – Charlie is not an emotionless guy and keeps crying often BUT in front of others… as in not hiding his emotions and feelings.

Would like to conclude this review by adding that TPOBAW is a book that has captured the perspectives of an introvert to a great extent. The book managed to keep me engaged and give me a lot of points and situations to ponder upon as I could relate to a lot of things.

Movie

PS – I also watched the movie that is also directed by the author of the book and is a great adaptation of it. The few points that seem incomplete or loopholes have been completely filled in the movie. If one is to watch the flick as a standalone part from the book it makes perfect sense and might as well shed a few tears L A few more extra elements added in the movie makes perfect that makes it worth a watch and it was indeed beautiful to see the incidences from the book coming alive in the cinema and the transformation of Charlie from the shy guy to holding up his hands in the class to answer a question has been captured beautifully!

Book and the movie manages to get a special place in my heart…

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life Book Review

     I recently (February 2018) read this book by a New York based blogger and felt motivated to review it as I am shifting my readings towards non-fiction and writing a review on a non-fiction book is relatively easy and felt this to be a decent and easy book to start with. There goes my first book review!

The objective behind this review is to give you a complete summary highlighting all the key points and learnings (that I gained) in a crisp text so that you may not have to read the complete book as I know you are really busy with your life and reading this book is the last thing you would do in your life. However, please go ahead, it is a great book and my summary may not completly get the extract in the same way as that of the author and covers only the points that gained most of my attention while reading.

Mark Manson has done a really great job in the first place by giving a title that would attract anyone who is finding tough to deal with life/ fed up of their job or studies/ and one who thinks is in depression (everyone is in depression).

The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life was released in 2016 and has created a lot of buzz getting listed in many non-fiction bestseller rankings. On the other hand, being a part of a few (two) local book communities this book had been a good point of discussion on the WhatsApp groups that I actively followed where the people who had read it praised and recommended everyone else to read it.

The book can be categorized as a self-help book but it is a lot different than typical self-help books that only talks on positive things, good stuff, and a fairy land where Cinderella meets her Prince Charming. Here the author has been very true, delivering his ideas in a vulgar language that actually keeps you gripped to the book covering a wide range of topics on a broader sense and experiences from the life of author that makes the reading more relatable. Kudos.

The aim of the book is to make the reader clear his or her view on the things that are important and worth to invest time and the things that are just not important and not going to have any outcome (which btw occupies most of our thoughts IRL). For example it is useless to think of how your hair look and whether or not you should comb them, the way you dress or what people will think if you are wearing shorts to go for a movie. Truth is that – it is all in your own head, people are not free or have come out of their homes to judge you. Maybe it’s just you who is judging people for various reasons and think of it in the same role-reversal way. Stop doing that – it is only going to make matters worse for you. Live your own life. The next time such thoughts come to your mind just wave them off by thinking about the bigger tasks you have on your plate and not giving f*cks on them. Period. One point I would personally like to add is people are thinking of judgement from others because they keep judging others often. It is just like you think that way and in the same manner you are thinking others are also doing that.

A chapter that I like the most titled – “Happiness is a Problem”. It talks about the temporary pleasures we try to seek every now and then, the real happiness comes from problem solving. If you are thinking that a Thai spa with a happy ending, a chocolate lava cake or buying that over-priced underwear is going to help you solve all your problems of life then your definition of Happiness is wrong. True happiness comes from dealing with the issues that you are facing, doing the things that make you sweat and that troubles you, gives you pain and pain is a part of the whole process to achieve great things. Everything that comes across you is a problem and as part of a life advice that I have taken from the book is – find the problems that you want to deal with in your life. The problems that you would want to solve are the ones that are going to make your life.

On the other hand, whenever you level up yourself in any aspect of anything you create more problems for yourself so choose the problems that you would want to create for yourself wisely what has been termed as “Choose your Struggle”.

Another Chapter talks about Failure and its benefits, not going to describe much about this and leaving you with just one line by Edison blah blah blah … ‘I found a thousand other ways in which a light bulb would not work’. So keep failing and what you take away from your failures and mistakes is the most important part of the learning process.

Nobody is perfect (except Emma Watson).

The author has given many examples of great personalities like Richard Branson and High Hefner who are generally termed as bad boys in the common society but still they are billionaires and many people use their service worldwide *ahem, their autobiographies and books on them are best sellers and often are in the lists of influential personalities. What these men could do was find out a very sweet spot of their “Struggle” in their lives and became what they are and were (Hugh Hefner died recently).

They found out a thing on which they would work tirelessly with persistence. So to say you do not have to be a good gymnast to start an airlines or you do not have to know DTP software to start a magazine business featuring sexy models (but on a personal note – always be good as a person). Nobody is perfect (I am nobody) and you can find many examples of people doing extremely well in something and sucking at something else. Tiger Woods the well-known golf player is a goof when it comes to keeping relationships, many sports personnel suck at public speaking. Being good at something and sucking at the other is fine but make sure that you overshadow your strengths and try finding out the weaknesses and improve on those.

There is one segment where the author tells his experience traveling in 50+ countries and learning a lot from it. After college he was broke and was not having a job and so he went on to take a risk. He wanted to become an Internet entrepreneur and decided to quit his well-paying job as a 22 year old which might have some bad consequences if the venture fails. But he could always go back doing a job that he hates and he will be back to that with more experiences and a better version of himself. So experiences form a good part of our lives and taking risks by not just living in the typical circle of house-car-wife-kids is something worth a try. There is nothing to be afraid of and I bet your parents did not raise you to be a coward walking in a herd of sheep. Please do something good.

Verdict

All in all SAONGAF is a short, up to the point and meaningful book that is highly recommended. It made me think of the things that I am thinking and whether or not what I am thinking is worth to think for. The point Mark wants to make is clear – do not spend time on things that do not matter to you the most. It your thoughts that shape the most of you. Distribute your fucks in a good proportion to lead a healthy life.

You need to make the best out of things by concentrating your fucks on more important things.